I have found that I am not a very trusting person; blaming it on past experiences that brought about grief, anger and sadness to my life.
Knowing that I have been taken for granted many times along the way; being lied to with a smile and dictated to on what I need to do in order for someone to love me, I moved along thinking and believing that things would change but they did not.
I took to not trusting even myself for decisions.
Others figured out in a short time that I was not going to trust them either after many a conversation about how alone I felt all of the time.
It became very hard to take steps toward anything because of my untrusting ways as I moved along life at a snail’s pace, wondering, listening and carefully doing everything, but nothing changed for me.
I was lucky because someone nice always seemed to come along to help me up and guide me toward the next step, but if it was someone who took advantage of my vulnerability, life was very difficult for me as my life, like tiny blue blocks came tumbling down to the ground once again.
At my lowest point I decided that it was time to change to be a stronger person.
I was not going anywhere, any time soon so why not take some chances, do some things that might bring about a better me.
Don’t know exactly what woke me up but I put my shoulders back and learned to first trust myself and my ability to be sound in mind, body and spirit. I started doing things I have never done before as I put the last stroke of yellow to my colorful painting that would be in a show in a few days.
And these little trusting waves of pushing myself became bigger ones as I came out of my mind, body and soul to grasp onto life and all it has to offer me.
My mind, body and soul became one onto myself, telling me to keep going.
Soul came out first to say, “Thank you for making spiritual changes that brought life to you and others through your creativity, meditative ways and stillness.”
Mind said, “You always knew that you could do it; taking on challenges in life, fits you well.”
Body said, “I am so very lucky that you began to work on me again. Let us take another walk down to the beach where the waves are strongly pushing against the sandy and rocky beach of life.”