Thought I saw you again today after I came back from my evening walk. It was a breezy day and I took pictures of the weeds blowing across the pasture. The corn is now cut down and looks dry and brown. It does not flourish as it had just a few weeks ago. Sometimes it feels like things end in a flash; allowing for the next season to come along. And as you wait for the first day of cold weather, you rush to take just a breath of the warmness of summers past.
I saw something behind the large tree in front of the house. It must have been a cat or a squirrel scampering along taking a glimpse at me.
I keep finding you in nature; the butterflies seem to settle on me, touching me as they flitter along.
I wish I could know for sure that it is you, and have a sure sign that you are near. But in my thoughts and dreams you come to me with a smile bigger than any smile I had ever seen on your face since you have passed.
And when I lie awake I am always thinking of you and wondering when I will pass on to visit you, and then we can become one and find ways to help others as you continue to help me.
Still struggling with grief and sorrow
There is so much struggle in life and heartache that never seems to go away; finding its way into every aspect of my being; telling me that it will fade and I will not feel painful anymore.
I know that the truth lies in my heart, and the beauty of staying here in the moment is good.
But I continue down the road waiting for the time to tell you all about my struggles, and then I remember that you already know because you are here right beside me as I write of my sorrow and joy days.
I know that there really is not difference in sorrow or joy; it is just another state of mind that we can move to as the pendulum swings.
And when I find myself walking for many miles, just gazing at the landscape, listening to the hollowing wind, I know you are with me in spirit.
You continue to press against my shoulders as if to tell me to move along as you used to when I needed a push.