Death is difficult, but when you have a passing of someone who had not been themselves for a long time, the memories flood through after the passing; mostly good memories of when that person was well in mind, body and spirit. Long illnesses create a void where you may feel that the person is already gone before they died. So with their passing, the past memories tucked away in your mind start to surface. You begin to grieve the past because the only good memories you have seem to be tucked away somewhere because the here and now memories make you sad.
The Clear and Warm Memories need to Surface
Those are the memories that you need to keep near. When you want to find some pleasant memories, just close your eyes and picture a place in your past that was pleasant. Find that room, or a special object that reminds you of the past; good memories that make you smile.
My Favorite Memories
My first thought is my mom’s home because it was so beautiful. There were so many places that you could just be, where no one would know you were hiding.
I walk around in my mind’s eye looking at those beautiful little corners of my childhood. I stop and see things that mom held close to her heart and I pick them up to feel her presence in little things that she held onto. I have crochet hooks and blankets that I pick up today, and smile because I know she is there.
Healing
Mom and I shared the ability to craft. And crocheting was her favorite. Yesterday, I walked near a crocheted little blanket that I keep on a chair, and it caught me on my sweater button.
That must have been mom telling me she was close by. And in my memory I can still see her sitting with her crochet needle, finishing a blanket for someone in the family.
Your spirit will linger too when you pass, touching others so that they can heal.
Finding ways to cope with life after a death can be difficult.