Getting Rid of those old feelings


Where are you going in life?

They write about it, they sing about it- get rid of the past and move on! Easier said than done. It takes a lot of work to stop holding on to grudges- or even stop loving someone who is very bad for you!

Some people say that they stay in a relationship because they love the person. I got out of one even though I did still love them.  It hurt a lot, and  even today, years later I ponder on past relationships, especially the ones that I thought would last forever. What is forever anyway? There is no forever in today’s world.

People get divorced  at the drop of a hat. If they see black and their mate sees white- it is over!

Love is not what people think it is. You have to work and struggle to stay in love. A healthy relationship has to be built on a strong foundation that consists first and foremost of trusting the person. Trust, compassion, honesty, all need to be in the recipe of love. The work takes time and dedication to the person. Putting them first, instead of your own needs. A mutual relationship – not one sided. The “me first, I want more out of this,” will get you nowhere!

Beginnings are passionate

The romance and passion that starts a relationship soon fades- and what are you left with?

Good or great companionship if you are lucky enough to both work on the development of the relationship.  An example is the break up of a marriage because one person seems to be doing all the work while the other is along for the ride. You cannot coast in a relationship. You cannot hide out and think the dust will settle and everything will be alright. Sometimes you have to have some conflict. But conflict has its limits! Fighting about the same things over and over does not work either. There has to be resolution. If not, conflict can also ruin  a good relationship

I did not see it Coming

Just the thought of a person saying, “I did not see it coming when my wife said she wanted a divorce” sends me through the roof!

You saw it coming! You either hid from the conflict or just did not care enough to do some work. People know when something is going sour. They may not know what to do, or  may ask a friend or two. But without some confrontation with the spouse to see what the problems are, things may go south for a very long time before it finally ends in divorce.

How to stop this progression of doom!

Begin to communicate with your partner. Know what their needs are. Know what your needs are.  Talk about what you want out of the marriage or relationship. Spend time together. Be kind to each other. Go for counseling if you cannot resolve the difficulties you are having. A third party can really help.

When there is  conflict at work, a conflict resolution person is brought in to help resolve the difficulties.  You may need help to resolve some of your problems. Do not feel ashamed if you need a helping hand. That is what life is all about. People helping people.