Changing long established patterns of behavior or habits and addictions can be difficult.
Sometimes people change their feeling toward us when we make even small changes, and in reality, all we have really changed is our attitude.
For example: All of a sudden, it seems that your boss is nicer to you. She has been giving you complements all this week, and today she told you she is going to give you a raise for a job well done.
What changed? You say you are not sure, but in reality, you decided to change your attitude about your job. You decided that you were going to make the best of it. Working harder, being more pleasant has paid off. You did not think it was going to work, and it seems like such a long time ago when you decided to change that you forgot you were the one who changed your attitude, not your boss!
The effects of change are cumulative says author, Harville Hendrix in his book, Keeping The Love You Find.
You started a weight loss program, and people are beginning to notice that you look different but they cannot figure out what the change is. You tell them that you have lost a few pounds, and they say, no- that’s not it, it is something else.
Well, maybe it is. You may be more confident in yourself with you new weight loss. You may be a little happier, or smiling more. More and more good things are happening to you, just with a small change.
This cumulative effect can move on to your relationships with others. Your spouse begins to complement you on your weight loss, and you find that you are getting along better, just because you made a small change.
But in reality, the biggest change is not your weight loss, it is your attitude about it. Even small changes can really help your ego. You begin to have more confidence in yourself, and good things happen.
You can also change your relationship status with your spouse just with a few kind words and a hug. Many relationships get stale. You can “bring back the love” by doing little, special things for your mate. Bring home flowers seems so traditional, but it always brings a smile to my face, just like bring home a little piece of chocolate. That definitely brings a smile to my spouse.
Taken in part from: Hendrix, H. (1992). Keeping The Love You Find. New York, NY. Pocket Books.