CS Lewis wrote on the nature of love in his book: The Four Loves. The love that strikes me the most is not his interpretation of romantic love, which he calls Eros, but on friendship.
I believe that friendship is the most important, because when the romantic love has subsided, what is left?
Hopefully a strong bond through mutual affection and friendship. But most romantic loves go by the wayside after they end, the person does not become your friend after the romance is gone. It would be a nice gesture, but it usually does not happen.
We are Good Friends!
Friendships may arise out of common interest. My first true friendship still exists. Our common interest was schooling. We studied together and spoke on what we found interesting in school. We did not see each other often, and still don’t, but there is a mutual bond. Recently, I went to dinner with this good friend, and we caught up on our happenings that were missed.
This friend has seen me through many a terrible and pleasurable event in life. I have found that her friendship has not always flourished through the years, but seems to resurface as needed. We just begin where we ended the last time. That is why it is so important to have friends. They do not get mad at you because you have not called in awhile!
A true friendship can last forever, unlike many romantic loves!
Friends are important later in life too. When some of your other relationships end through death or other circumstances, your friends may play a more important part of your life. And they can be called on, even if you have not seen them for some time, they are always willing to talk to you.
This type of relationship can be very strong and helpful. It is based upon mutuality, where two people can share with each other without interference from romance!
Similar Interests bring people together
I have many friends with similar interests, and we get together for coffee or lunch, just to explore what has been happening to us. One such friend, I call my happy friend. She perks me up! Her demeanor always seems to be up, and I enjoy the lift during our times together. She has a great smile that can light up the sky!
Another friend whom I worked with for many years needs a friend right now, so I try to see her often. We usually spend our time together in a coffee shop. Many of our conversations are related to trying to figure life out in general! We worked together for many years, and sometimes sit and explore what I have been missing at my old job.
A good friend of mine, who I never see anymore share recipes. He lives in California. We talk online and listen to each other about tips related to cooking. We have both, through the years explored different types of recipes and cooking techniques with mutual excitement. We tinkered for many years about not being friends because of divorce. This person is my “X- brother-in law. But I do not think of him as X anything! He and his family are still my friends, and will be throughout my life.
Recently, I have explored some new friendships. Our common interest has been losing weight. We work out at a gym, and go for coffee without any sweet treats. This weight loss mutual event is good, because you motivate each other to lose those extra pounds.
Other people who I have met recently are becoming “new friends” in my friendship arena. I seem to know just about everyone in the Village of Hamburg where I walk daily. Some are just casual friends, but others seem to be flourishing.
So get out there and make some friends. You will not regret it.
Taken in part from: Lewis, CS. (1988) The four Loves.SanDiego, CA. Harvest Book
