In My Dreams

You are still in my dreams every single night

I can feel your presence, and sometimes it wakes me with tears. But I know that when I see you, you are still close to me, comforting me, and holding me.

I remember your last day so clearly because you were so clear in mind and spirit.

You knew me, and wanted me near. I comforted you, wiping your brow. I stood next to you, rubbing your arms and leaning over you, whispering how much I love you.

 Remembering the good times

I wake up remembering how we used to plant flowers together every spring

I wake up remembering how we used to plant flowers together every spring

When I sleep, you come to life, talking and reminiscing on all the things in your past that made you happy. You loved  having  family around to talk to, cook for and just be with; and I smile and cry at the same time thinking of you.

Both  crying and smiling seem to be the same now. There really is no difference, both comfort me while I grieve over losing you. Soft grieving tears while walking in the sunshine thinking of you.

I remember how you used to love to have company. You told me that having your family near was the best feeling in life. I remember feeling bad if I did not have time to visit you. You would call and say, ” Did you forget about me? Come over, I will make you something for dinner, or we can go shopping together.” Back then, I thought those times shopping or spending time watching a movie, or a soap opera were just casual days. But now I see them as significant, meaningful moments in my life that I try to re-capture so that I can see you clearly. You were always there for all of us in the family. You were never  angry about things that happened to you although I feel that you hid many things about your own distress; keeping it inside tucked away like a hidden treasure. But I knew it was not a treasure box that you hid; it was moments in your life that were not so good to remember.

And I do not regret any moments that I had with you. I just wish that there were more.

So today, treasure those casual moments that you may think are mundane or insignificant; they are of value to your life.

 

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 26th, 2014 at 12:27 pm and is filed under Grief and Loss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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