Here for a Short Time

We are only here on this Earth for a very short time. It may seem like many people live a long life, but even 80 years is not a long time when you think about living life meaningfully.

My mom used to tell me all the time that she was not never going to die. And I would smile when she said it because we all know in our hearts that someday we  all will pass on.

Now that my mom has passed, I believe that I finally got what she meant. She is everywhere. Mom is inside of me. She comes out in some of the words that I find myself saying, and in my gestures, even the way I move. I feel her daily, in my mind’s eye,  helping me with decisions, or just being there for a warm embracing moment.

Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and re-live some of the good moments that make me smile

In the winter, everything seems to be frozen in time.

In the winter, everything seems to be frozen in time.

As I took my daily walk,  I passed by a few feathers, and a friend of mine had told me that feathers were a sign of a spiritual presence.

I did not think too much about it until I saw the third feather, and they kept getting bigger. At first I thought I was going to find a dead bird, because the last feather that I saw was quite large. And then I thought about it being a sign to think about mom and where she is right now. Mom was with me at that moment as I gathered my thoughts and managed a smile.

I try to keep the older memories close to my heart, especially when I called mom, mommy. It never went through my head until she passed. The word mommy was long ago. Today, when I pick up a picture of mom, I say mommy aloud just to feel closer to the person who made it possible for me to be alive today.

Time is passing, and the loss is strong. The strong dreams gather  at night, and I try to sort them out. I want all of the dreams of mom to be good ones.

 

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 14th, 2014 at 11:02 pm and is filed under Grief and Loss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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