Forgiveness

 

Weeping willows always remind me of my childhood because we had one near our home.

Sometimes I would sneak away and hide under the willow when I was feeling down or just wanted to be alone.

Maybe the name Weeping Willow was of some comfort to me when I was feeling bad. If a great tree such as a willow could weep, then it should  be easy for me to unload my grief under the comfort of a willow.

Many people have difficulties with grieving. They think things magically go away after a year or so, and things get better on its own. Like any other life process, grieving takes time. Everyone has to work it out at their own pace.

 

A few days ago on a  beautiful, sunny day,  I spent a few hours with a friend just sitting and talking  outside in the wonders of the country. We talked about the many things  that has happened to us in our lives for the past 20 or so years. We worked together for many years. I always looked up to this friend and came to her with nursing issues I had trouble solving.

We both live sort of parallel lives that consisted of raising a family fairly well, and losing some people who are important to us. When I say losing, I do not always mean death, although some of our conversion did focus on some of that too.

What are losses?

We all know what loses are, but sometimes we believe that we can get through things quickly, and without much work.

Sometimes losses are things that you feel so very strong about that they may feel like death. For example, a divorce from  a marriage that lasted  many years probably will take a person a very long time to heal from.  Even if they wanted the divorce, and even if they still hold negative, damaging thoughts about their past spouse.

Some say that it takes just as long to heal from a painful divorce as it does from a death of a spouse. Not to minimize spousal passing.

On a spouse passing

The most difficult time in a person’s life can be when they lose a spouse. They may think they are ready because the person may have been sick a long time, but when it hits and the reality is in your face, the healing must begin.

On Divorce and Anger

I have heard people say that they wish the person was dead instead of just gone from their life, because then and only then would it be over. How can people hold on to the anger and pain for so very long? Do they not know how it is damaging their lives?

My personal Account

I don’t like holding in anger.  I hate being in pain, especially emotional pain. Therefore, many years ago I decided to let go and forgive.

I want to settle things in my life, and make them better. I want to forgive the people who have done me wrong- mainly because it will help me to deal with life better.

If you have a problem with anger and pain, think about how much relief you will have if you begin to let it go.

And then find it in your heart to forgive the person who you feel really let you down. And remember that forgiveness really can help you to heal.

You don’t need to do it for the other person, you need to do it for yourself so that you can begin living again.

 

 

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012 at 8:17 am and is filed under Grief and Loss, Mental Wellness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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